But first -
-- but seriously folks --
I've posted my conclusions, tried to explain what happened. Everytime someones asks, I cheerfully tried to spread the word of de la maza. But like all avatars, all I met was the derision and faithlessness of the masses. They tell me wicked things, particularly this barbaric phrase they most often repeat "Chess is more than tactics".
You know, if the circles is a sect, then we can consider the chess-more-than-tactic crowd to be a major religion. They think us nuts for trying something too extreme, but I think they're nuts for trying the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.
And so, after a long time, I just decided not to explain anymore. Its just too hard convincing people. And anyway, what does it matter if they dont understand. Me personally, I'm glad I completed the course. I wouldnt trade that experience for just anything in the world.
-- But --
Of course, like all true believers, I just cant let it go like that. I have to at least try and explain one more time. But to explain using the same words? I'll just get the exact same result. So perhaps people will understand if i phrase it like this:
"This isn't entirely about chess for me. One of my secret reasons for embarking on this quixotic endeavor was the knowledge that it is a good thing to lay our a challenge for yourself and then work to achieve it. The goal achieved is transient, but the memory that you can do very hard things stays forever."
Now do you see? Now do you understand? I havent posted about this I think, but I say it here now that Don's reason, is part of my reason too. Everything was not all about chess.
When people asked the first person who attempted to climb everest why he did it, all he answered was "Because It's There". Thats it. This sentence right here, contains all the reason in the world why one should do this sort of thing.
Have you seen the latest Rocky movie? There he was old and washed up. Trying to fight again at the age of 50. His son is embarassed and tries to tell him not to fight. What did he do? Did he stop for 1 minute and considered his sons advice? No he didnt, didnt he. He told his son that he's a spoiled brat, and he have no heart.
-- And so --
I'm happy to say that I did it. I've conquered one of my own personal everest. Nobody will take away that from me. That feeling of accomplishment after I've solved my last puzzle. I've stepped into that ring and I can say that in chess at least, I have heart.
Now is this reason enough for you? Only you can say that. However, even if its not chess, I recommend you find your own personal Everest and try to climb it. You say its hard? Then so what. Thats the point - its hard but you do it anyway. So prove you're a man, Prove it! Prove you have heart.
(A girl reading this wouldnt understand, just like she wouldnt understand why guys likes to have a darned samurai sword. But a guy would be nodding his head right now. This thing, this trying to prove something is universal i think. Its the same thing that drives us to study martial arts i realize now - hence most of the knights have practiced martial arts in some form or another. I wont explain much further. I'm sure you understand)
(And someday too, my son is gonna tell his classmate "Your father discovered a cure for cancer? Your father sucks! My father solved 1000 puzzles in one day". How about you my dear readers? What do you want your son to tell about you?)
(BTW: If you're like me and is spending new year on FICS playing chess then its either a) The girl you've always loved is leaving you, hence you have a very big personal problem and wished to escape in a game or b) You're all alone in Japan, hence no family nor friends to support you or c) All of the above.
So heres to us lonely fools my friend. I'm glad you're there! Cheers =>)
-- fin --
It's new year and I'm in frigging Japan! Aauugh!! Haugck!! Arrghck!!