Tuesday, December 19, 2006
The Cubicle
"A powerful story of one cubicle's search for acceptance,
I haven't watched a movie this good in a long time"
New York Times

(Camera pans slowly, showing the universe. Stars and planets pass by. The camera rests on a nebulous galaxy. Plunging into milky clouds, a small blue planet is shown. Larger and larger the planet appears until the atmosphere is shown. Then rolling fields of mountains, until the camera completely stops in a grassy valley)

I was born in this planet, in the galaxy you earthlings known as quadrant QH7.

A race of toilet cubicles exists here, not unlike your earth cubicles. Only they are round and less comfortable.

My mother was a kind old cubicle and she loved me dearly. Others... were not so..

(Scene fades slowly into a playground)

  • Cubicle:Please let me play with you
  • Others: No! (flushing sound heard). You are ugly and square.

And on it went day after day after day. They called me ugly and square and, and, and sometimes even.. Stuck!!

I pleaded my case to the elders but instead of helping me they said i was rebellious and sentenced me to death. My mother cried and held hostage one of the elders while I ran away. The last image i saw was of my poor mother being scrubbed clean by the others.

I traveled the universe for a long, long time. Seeing untold wonders and miracles. But they cannot quench the revenge that is in my heart. One day I will return and clean them all, I whisper to myself every night.

At last tired and weary, I came to your planet. The one they called "earth".

And wonder of wonders, I at last became happy...

  • The cubicles are all square!!!

But my revenge burns deep. So I imagined to take over this planet, one person at a time. The first one I caught was an old man. He was deranged, and obsessed by a game they called chess.

He was useless to me, but he gave me an idea and I hunted down the one they called the chess champion. The one named "Kramnik".

He is shy, that one. He is always in the mountains so i could not get him to use me.

But at last, my chance came when he played the artist formerly known as Topalov.

I hid in the comfort rooms pretending to be just a normal cubicle. For I knew he could not resist using me.

(Scene shows Kramnik walking into the men's comfort room. The moment he touches the cubicles door, everything turns slow motion. Water from the faucet falls very slowly, almost slowing to a stop. The door silently opens. No sound is heard. Kramnik's face is shown. At first he looks puzzled, then his eyes opens wider and wider. Camera shifts and shows the cubicle. Blinding white light emanates from it. Kramnik' back is visible now. He walks into the cubicle. The doors shuts and movement returns to normal. Water from the faucet falls very fast now. A man is shown entering the main comfort room door. He washes his hands and looks at the mirror. Everything seems normal)

  • At last we are one!!!
  • (Angelic singing is heard)

I showed him secrets no mortal has ever known (Kramniks face is shown with the universe behind it). He would have stayed inside me forever, but he needs to return into the world to proclaim my name.

He crushes the artist formerly known as Topalov. But they became suspicious..

"Why is he always going into the restroom", they muttered.

"After coming back from the cubicle, he moved so fast, its not natural", some added.

Fools! They dare investigate me. They even touched my cables.

You will pay for this outrage. So, carefull To.pa.lov. carefullll...

(Two years pass)

Topalov gets out of his car. He is drunk, and walks wobbly. Camera zooms into his mouth and the words "Sh**t, that Kramnik defeated me again" Are heard.

Topalov reaches inside his pocket but finds no cigarette. He gets angry and hurls his lighter far away. "AAARRRRGGHHH" he shouts, and falls into the ground curling into fetal position.

He stays like that for sometime, his shoulders violently heaving along with his sobs. The camera now goes into ground level to show Topalov's face pressed into the asphalt. His eyes are closed but he opens his tear stained eyes and saw - "A Cigarette!" (Topalov's face blur, and the camera focus on cigarette)

But where is the lighter? He slowly stands up, brushes his shirt, and walks in the direction of the lighter. He finds it in the middle of the grass. He picks it up, but he notices something and stops mid-air.

Whats this? A cubicle? Here? In the middle of nowhere?

  • "What the frock, I needed a piss anyway. "

Topalov walks towards the cubicle. Touches its door...

..and everything turns into slow motion..

(Scene Fades to Black)

(Credits Roll)

posted by Nezha at 6:25 PM | Permalink |