One of the reasons I went into chess was that I was really frustrated by my musical development. I had been playing for years, and felt that I had maximized whatever talent I have. So in disgust, I turned my face away from music and into chess.
But being away from music, and not having the burden of trying to improve, have clarified matters, and made known to me I was wrong. I was asking too much out of myself. I wanted to be a professional musician when I neither have the talent nor the time to practice to be at that level. I realize now that its ok for me not to be like that. That I can just enjoy my music, yes even the crappy songs I play, without worrying about such things. So now, I've picked my guitar again and working to get my playing back to where it used to be. This time, it wont matter if my playing is mediocre or is considered offensive to another's ears. I like playing and so I'm gonna play, just because.
This realization also extended to chess. I realize now that I really shouldnt be too obssessed with getting better. I play chess because I like playing. No need for another reason, like wanting to be a master or something. I should play chess because I like playing, period. And it shouldnt matter too if I take a break and my skills diminish(as it will inevitably do). I won't be a professional chess player. Won't even be the club champion. All I can do is enjoy playing and enjoy my place in the chess world. And if I somehow get better someday, then good for me. But I shouldnt be a slave to such things anymore.
Anyway, I have no doubt I will come back again and pick the pieces up. The juices that flows from the competition, the heart stopping moments when you know youre about to win(or lose), are as intense as anything i've experienced. So I have no intention of giving chess up.
Its just that something else is calling me, and i can't it resist anymore. So I am going into a temporary hiatus to give it attention.
But I do hope to see all you guys again when I come back.
(But now, what do I do with my chess books? All 29 of them?)