Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Nezha's Folly(?)
Or Why Nezha hasnt been posting lately

Last year, december I was offered another job. The pay, compared to what I was making right now was real good. Only thing is, it was in another country.

The job was in japan. So I had to think carefully. Whould my family like it there? Can they stand the weather? Particularly winter, as my own country exists in a perpetual state of summer. And what about the kids.. will they be able to make friends there? I dont want them growing up isolated and developing character disorders. Dont want to be raising serial killers now would we.. yep, woudlnt want that at all..

But in most cases, all these concerns was overidden by the blinding power of the dollar (in this case the yen). I mean, the salary was 5x what I was making now. What was I to do, turn it down? 5x salary? A chance to provide my family with a real life. I wouldnt get rich or something, but comfortable. Yeah, comfortable enough to buy my children things I wasnt able to buy myself.

But I wasnt sure, see. I was supervisor here. I order people around. Not used anymore to taking no orders. And what if I became miserable there? the money is good, but I dont want to die emotionally. It just doesnt feel right.

In the end, I wasnt sure enough and cant decide quick enough that the negotiations fell through.

But this emotional roller coaster ride took its toll. I didnt have the strenght nor the inclination to do anything else like chess or even guitar. and one day, I just woke up and felt nothing. Nothing at all regarding chess. The exploits of Topalov, the crazines of Morozovich, and his girlfriend (hehe), all these things that mattered to me before, it doesnt seem to matter now.

Maybe I was cured of the virus?

I dont know, but until it comes back I dont think I can post so often or play so often anymore.

I hope you understand.
posted by Nezha at 6:46 PM | Permalink | 8 comments