Monday, September 05, 2005
Temporary Hiatus
One of the reasons I went into chess was that I was really frustrated by my musical development. I had been playing for years, and felt that I had maximized whatever talent I have. So in disgust, I turned my face away from music and into chess.

But being away from music, and not having the burden of trying to improve, have clarified matters, and made known to me I was wrong. I was asking too much out of myself. I wanted to be a professional musician when I neither have the talent nor the time to practice to be at that level. I realize now that its ok for me not to be like that. That I can just enjoy my music, yes even the crappy songs I play, without worrying about such things. So now, I've picked my guitar again and working to get my playing back to where it used to be. This time, it wont matter if my playing is mediocre or is considered offensive to another's ears. I like playing and so I'm gonna play, just because.

This realization also extended to chess. I realize now that I really shouldnt be too obssessed with getting better. I play chess because I like playing. No need for another reason, like wanting to be a master or something. I should play chess because I like playing, period. And it shouldnt matter too if I take a break and my skills diminish(as it will inevitably do). I won't be a professional chess player. Won't even be the club champion. All I can do is enjoy playing and enjoy my place in the chess world. And if I somehow get better someday, then good for me. But I shouldnt be a slave to such things anymore.

Anyway, I have no doubt I will come back again and pick the pieces up. The juices that flows from the competition, the heart stopping moments when you know youre about to win(or lose), are as intense as anything i've experienced. So I have no intention of giving chess up.

Its just that something else is calling me, and i can't it resist anymore. So I am going into a temporary hiatus to give it attention.

But I do hope to see all you guys again when I come back.

Goodluck everybody!
(But now, what do I do with my chess books? All 29 of them?)
posted by Nezha at 6:02 PM | Permalink |


  • At 12:17 AM, Blogger Temposchlucker

    But now, what do I do with my chess books? All 29 of them?

    Maybe you can put your foot on them while playing guitar? It's always sad to see someone quitting.
    You have to be almost a saint to accept that imperfection is our fate without feeling remorse or being discontented with it. Especially when this imperfection is caused by impotence to improve. So my friend, I wish you all the luck in the world when playing guitar. But keep an eye on our blogs in case we find the Holy Grail.

  • At 8:45 AM, Blogger Jim

    Sorry to see you give up the squared circle. I thought you were doing really well at improving.

    Of course now, when you start playing chess again, you won't have a "feel" for the game as much as you used too, but that will be on account of your fingers being so calloused!!!


  • At 8:13 PM, Blogger Blue Devil Knight

    Congrats on finishing the Circles, and enjoy the guitar! My attitude toward chess is the same as yours: the whole reason I started these circles is because I wanted to suck less, at least to the point of not getting destroyed by everyone I played online.

  • At 1:48 PM, Blogger CelticDeath

    You'll be missed, Nezha! Come back when you're ready.

  • At 3:28 PM, Blogger The Closet Grandmaster

    Keep your books. Chess, after all, is a love affair. So your relationship is just taking a break.

  • At 9:44 AM, Anonymous Maharlika

    Can i borrow the books?:)

  • At 7:53 PM, Blogger JavaManIssa

    I wanted to improve a lot in the beginning too, and this caused me to do so. But now i have slowed down and enjoy the game for what it is - no matter how good i am, i know i'll eventually improve and you will too!

    Keep your chess books, it's only a matter of time until chess takes over again ;)

    Good luck with the guitar!!

  • At 11:47 AM, Blogger phorku

    Perhaps you should work on both. I used to be obsessed with my martial arts. During my last bout of intensive training I realized that as I get older I will not be able to keep up the level of training I liked. So I started taking guitar lessons. I was just starting to get the hang of playing when I got lateral epicondylitis (tendonits - the tennis elbow kind.) It was very bad and could not pick anything heavy up by squeezing between my thumb and fingers.... So both my hobbies were taken out in a single stroke. I had been playing some chess for fun during that time so decided now would be a good time to study. Now that my arms are somewhat healed I want to start playing guitar again (martial arts is still out of the question). I won't give up chess to do it though. My brain will not get tendonitis and my intellectual ability will probably outlast my physical ability (it is somewhat reassuring getting beaten by the old geezers at the club). Anyway I have come to the realization that sometimes less is better(more). How much better would I be at the martial arts if I had not trained so much or intensly but been able to avoid the injuries and years off to recover? How many years would I have left? You seem kind of obsessive like me and perhaps not young either. What happens if you get a RSI? Some variety may help you retain your enjoyment of both hobbies and perhaps increase your musical abilities as well as increase the length of time you can play. I like playing blues in the key of B a lot ;-)