Continuing my post about my efforts to be accepted to a management position I know nothing about:
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You know the old saying- if something looks like a duck, walks like a duck and speaks like a duck, then its probably a duck? Let me put it in other words: if something looks like a manager, walks like a manager and speaks like a manager, then its probably a manager.

So - Two days ago I bought an 8,000yen suit and a 1,000yen necktie. I really don't have spare money, but I wanted the job so bad, I was willing to spare no expense for it.

So there I was yesterday with my new suit (I must say, I looked so handsome in that suit.. =>), and my resume walking around in Shinjuku. I was so nervous I arrived at 6:30pm one full hour before the appointed time. I decided to walk around to kill time, but I couldn't take it anymore so I just walked into the Microsoft lobby and asked the receptionist about my appointment.

Finally, after what felt like a long time, this very pretty Chinese girl walked up to me and said "I'm sorry to have kept you waiting". Stunned is the closest word I could think of to describe her. I probably shouldn't be talking like this about someone who probably would be my manager but gosh... she must've been a quite the head turner when she was younger..

So the interview was on and I was like, doing my best Jerry McGuire impression... for example she would say "Thank you for coming here" and I would answer "no, thank you for giving me this opportunity". Things like that.. Over the top, American Idol level performance .. You should have seen me.. I was practically pounding the table during the interview.. Mom would be proud..

I mean, she asked me about myself right? and basically I told her I'm heavens gift to mankind. No kidding. I figured this is no time to be modest. So I told her how I single handedly earned millions for my previous company, handled this super complicated mobile development project, earned every ones trust and adulation, can speak Japanese better than a Japanese, and was generally the most intelligent, capable, handsome engineer that ever existed on the entire planet.. and btw, did she notice my expensive suit?

After repeated statements to that effect, when the meeting was finally about to end, I lurched forward the table to shake her hands and say thank you2x for talking to me...

Of course I didn't shook her hand just because I wanted to touch it.. no, nothing like that.. :) Have I told you she was pretty? Oh, yeah thats right.. I did..

(Btw: the interview took about 40-60min. Is that good or bad? I kept thinking it should have been longer. But some of the things I was planning on saying went missing... )

Anyway, here I am awaiting the result of the interview.. Man, its killing me.. if I don't pass that, I'll be crushed. I can't imagine that the most intelligent, capable, handsome engineer that ever existed on the entire planet can be turned down for the job.

(Not to mention being stuck with an expensive suit - all dressed up with nowhere to go)

So please, please... I hope she believed me when I told her:

I'm the man! I'm the man!!

[Somethings wrong]

When I was looking at the market, it seems that my skills is a little different than what the market is currently in-vogue so to speak. This is not to say PHP, MySQL skills is worthless, its just that the high paying web-programming jobs requires some form of ASP, Oracle, C# technology.

I'm starting to think I made the wrong career choice somewhere.

Anyway, I've contacted a *lot* of agents. I thought I should do some sort of a full-court press, Search high and low and leave no stone unturned. However, when I was talking to work agents, they advised me to just pick one and work that relationship hard. Otherwise, they tend to lose interest because they know they have lots of "competition" for your service.

Never knew that..

[Zen and the art of faking the interviews]

Ok so I got a few interviews. I thought all of them were good and I was confident in my answers. But some positions, I don't know jack about. You ask me why I'm applying for something I'm not familiar with and all I'm gonna say is, at this point, if you paid me to clean urinals, I'd do it. I'm like -living a life of quiet desperation.

Anyway, later today I have an interview lined up for a management position. They say it involves negotiation with clients and analysis of market forces. Never mind that I don't know anything about market forces. Market forces!?, Can I eat that? haha.. But of course I didn't say that. What I said was my name is "The market force master" Nezha - Able to bring shareholder value and generate profits just like that..

Nya.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.... (thud)

I just did another interview. Its with a different company. This time, it was kinda refreshing because it was with an Australian and so we conducted the interview in English. Of course I'm a little bit fluent in Japanese, but my English is way better than my Japanese.

Having said that - this interview sucked. I mean, not the interview itself, but the compensation they offered me. Basically, they were offering me the same salary as my current job. Huh!? Who's bright idea was that? I mean, why would I go through all the trouble of resigning and everything just to be where I am now?

It defies logic.

Oh well - back to the drawing board.

So I did my first interview today.

-- Going there --

The place where I was gonna meet the agent was located near central Tokyo station. It was supposed to be at 9:00am so the commute ran smack into rush hour. When I say rush hour, boy do I mean rush hour. The hordes of Japanese trying to cram themselves into trains is a sight to behold.

The train I was in was so densely packed, the term "man-to-man" and "chest-to-chest" took on a whole new level of meaning. I mean, I think I now know the reason why the Japanese walks a little bit differently.

You know why?

The interview itself was a rather bland affair. How many times have I gone to a meeting like this and heard the same question over and over again. "Describe yourself", "Why are you changing jobs", "Can you work within a team?", etc.. etc.. blah blah blah..

Meeh, I've given the same answers over and over again I can repeat it in my sleep.

However lets stop here for a moment. I want to tell you something:

I run Linux in my notebook, read open source news everyday and generally leans towards the ideals of the FSS foundation. Of course, in stereotypical fashion - I hate Microsoft. Its an irrational hate really. Microsoft haven't done anything to hurt me personally. I don't even know the company that much (Besides whats popularly written). Perhaps its result of my long association with Linux that I started hating them out of "principle".

Anyway, to continue my post, can you guess what company is it I'm applying to now?

Yup you guessed - The very same Microsoft.

Sssh! Don't tell this to anybody. They might not hire me. Nyehehehe..

Its like that girl who doesn't give you the time of the day. Only you see her walking around with this ugly, fat dude and you couldn't understand why she hangs around him. Until you see his Mercedes that is.

Oh the injustice - Is everything really about money?

But Mr. Microsoft guy, I wont hate you anymore. Just hire me ok!?

=>

A few hours ago, I was walking home. It was an ordinary day, just like any other ordinary day. The air was cool, and spring is lurking around the corner. I was thinking of mundane things like my upcoming job interview, when I felt this painful stab in my belly. Like something dark, and evil wanted to come out.

Oh, oh, that wasn't good. So I started walking faster and faster. Faster until I found myself running. Running over green lights, and almost getting hit by passing cars. But I didn't mind. All I was paying attention to was this thing inside me. The pain was excruciating. So I ran still, over highways and over byways. And after what seemed like a long time, I finally saw it.

The door to my apartment.

Salvation

Ok, Thats it. Everybody's salary is higher than mine, and while I'm not the type of person who begrudges other people about their fortune, it does set me questioning myself. I mean, why am I doing this? What am I doing here? Can somebody tell me a reason why I'm sacrificing to stay? I've been thinking about it, and there is absolutely no good reason why. There is so much out there. So much..

Crap. So all you recruiters out there. Could you please, please hurry up and process my application. And no! that's not a question.

I remember the time when my parents was pushing me to accept this dinky offer from another company. Never mind that the salary can barely pay for my living expenses. They still wanted me to accept it because I was supposed to "wait my turn". The older generation worked liked that. You started small, then you try to go higher and higher. But, I didn't like the idea of sacrificing my youth for so little and turned that offer down. My mom when ballistic when she found out. Saying I was "too proud" and "didn't know how the world works".

Yeah, well you wait your turn. Me - I want to be frigging rich in 5 frigging days so I want my frigging money, like frigging right now!

But:

I understand too that were I to resign, it would cause considerable trouble for the company. I represent millions of yen in investment and my resignation will set back their plans significantly. I understand this and I find myself lacking the guts to resign personally. So, in this case, I'm gonna do what Pat Riley did when he resigned from the Knicks and went to the Heat - Just Fax my resignation.

Of course after that, Pat Riley was forever known around New York as Pat "The Rat". In like manner, I expect my name to be taboo around here. Perhaps this is where the difficulty comes from. I mean, I look around and see people who became my friends. Realizing we will probably not be friends anymore kinda sucks. I mean, of course I wanted to be liked. Who in his right mind would want an enemy right?

However, this is business. You can't take this seriously. Everything is business. My resigning doesn't mean I wanted to betray the company. I mean, you know I like them.

But I don't like them enough to give up money. Hehe..

Oh but, I'm starting to feel like a shark..

Remember my post about my career problem? We'll things are heading to a critical moment. This past week I've been applying for a job unbeknown to anyone. Today, I got an answer. Its only an interview, but I have no doubt I will ace that. Call it a chess players "Intuition".

However, I'm really still not decided. I'm sure the money will be larger than my current job. But the thing is - I really, really want to go home. Can't you see? I'm living a life of quiet desperation. However, if I were to remove my emotions regarding the matter, the one thing I wont say no to is more money. I mean money don't grow on trees. I could walk from Tokyo to Yokohama, and I won't find money on the street. It was only yesterday when I didn't have no car, no house, no nothing. I know full well the value of being financially well off. Believe me, if you had ever wanted to buy something so much and you just couldn't, you tend to view having money differently.

Besides I have children of my own now, and I think perhaps I should lay a more stable financial foundation for them. After all there are no guarantees I will be able to earn this much later on. I mean, I've talked to my boss and he said he was gonna give me a raise - but if I can have it now why should I wait? After all, thats just talk right now. I want the money in the bank.

But oh - how I wish I could go home.

Ah the agony.