Monday, March 05, 2007
What am I doing here?
Sorry, no chess-related stuff for a while. I am fully preoccupied with my career right now.

Just yesterday, a friend called me up. Our talk went something like this:

Nezha: So wassup?
Friend: Dude, I just found a new job
Nezha: How much?
Friend: (Says a figure significantly higher than what Nezha earns)
.. silence..
Nezha: Dadgummit!!

Ok, Thats it. Everybody's salary is higher than mine, and while I'm not the type of person who begrudges other people about their fortune, it does set me questioning myself. I mean, why am I doing this? What am I doing here? Can somebody tell me a reason why I'm sacrificing to stay? I've been thinking about it, and there is absolutely no good reason why. There is so much out there. So much..

Crap. So all you recruiters out there. Could you please, please hurry up and process my application. And no! that's not a question.

I remember the time when my parents was pushing me to accept this dinky offer from another company. Never mind that the salary can barely pay for my living expenses. They still wanted me to accept it because I was supposed to "wait my turn". The older generation worked liked that. You started small, then you try to go higher and higher. But, I didn't like the idea of sacrificing my youth for so little and turned that offer down. My mom when ballistic when she found out. Saying I was "too proud" and "didn't know how the world works".

Yeah, well you wait your turn. Me - I want to be frigging rich in 5 frigging days so I want my frigging money, like frigging right now!


I understand too that were I to resign, it would cause considerable trouble for the company. I represent millions of yen in investment and my resignation will set back their plans significantly. I understand this and I find myself lacking the guts to resign personally. So, in this case, I'm gonna do what Pat Riley did when he resigned from the Knicks and went to the Heat - Just Fax my resignation.

Of course after that, Pat Riley was forever known around New York as Pat "The Rat". In like manner, I expect my name to be taboo around here. Perhaps this is where the difficulty comes from. I mean, I look around and see people who became my friends. Realizing we will probably not be friends anymore kinda sucks. I mean, of course I wanted to be liked. Who in his right mind would want an enemy right?

However, this is business. You can't take this seriously. Everything is business. My resigning doesn't mean I wanted to betray the company. I mean, you know I like them.

But I don't like them enough to give up money. Hehe..

Oh but, I'm starting to feel like a shark..
posted by Nezha at 8:05 PM | Permalink |


  • At 4:31 AM, Blogger Dwyane Corleone Fujiwara

    Ahh.. Loyalty versus Money. You have to understand, their culture probably values loyalty OVER money. But you have to think.. Why did you go there in the first place? Exactly. To earn for your family and give them a better life. So think about that for a while.