I guess i just got burned out. Doing the cirles for 6 months, playing chess daily, solving puzzles and reading books. It was just consuming too much time. Then, I got too hung up on my rating. That is too say, I was trying to reach 1800 that i became too scared to lose. It used to be that I would welcome all challengers and play just because i like it, but then i found myself turning down invites. I was starting to pick just the battles that i think i can win. Trying to squeeze every last once of elo. Well I did reach 1800 (1836), but it was a phyrric victory so to speak.

So i decided to take a break from chess, and see what other things are out there. Well anyway, to make the long story short - After a long time - i'm starting to play again. I've lost about 100 points since I've been losing quite steadily - I thought tactics is like riding a bicyle, you can forget about it once you learn it, but now I think its like a shooters stroke. You have to hone it everyday otherwise it declines over time. So i've been doing the CTS gig for a few days now.

Of course, I wont go into a death-defying training regimen like the circles again (*shivers*), nor would it bother me particularly if my rating don't rise anymore. I however, would like to become what I have always wanted in chess - Namely a fearsome attacker. I want fire in the board. When I win a game, i want to point my fingers at the screen, shake my head side to side, and shout - "you want fries with that!!!!"

Of course the underpinning of this evolution will be tactical play. However, tactics of itself will not suffice. I need to go deeper - namely I need to discover how to set up combinations. I have a chess program, a comparably weak one compared to shredder, etc as it has absolutely no positional knowledge (just a toy program) But it is interesting to note that seemingly mundane moves are converted to two and three move combinations - That is the model of play I aspire to. And if this sounds like being a trappy kind of player, basically your right. That is what it is.

But how to do that? I could try reading books - but i realize i don't learn that way. Or rather, i resist learning. In the back of my mind, I would always say "oh! really?". Maybe it is better to evolve my own theories for now. I'm not a genius by any level of imagination but i think i'm intelligent enough. Besides - what have I got to lose right? Mind you, Bronstein himself advocates beating your own path in favor of being a slave to fashion. I have no misconception that this will turn me into a grandmaster - However, creating my own system, would assure I understand it completely, and make it truly "mine". My system. => (But i think this will take time. Creating a style of play requires a big effort after all.)

However, for those who want to join me in this endeavor, I will welcome you with both arms, you just have to say the litany of faith three times:

Chess has many forms, and nezha's style is its first incarnation.