Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Tired of Losing
I posted a seek last night at FICS, and guess who answered my challenge? A player namued "maupasant (2054)". My eyes nearly popped-out of thier sockets. 300 points differential is way too high for my taste. But aborting the game would show a tremendous lack of nuts - and hey, he is human too, right? he blunders too, right? So I answered e4 with e5, and the game is on.

After approximately 80 minutes and 45 moves later, calculating as far as I could. As carefull as much as I can, I lost. Ayayay.. Well anyway, Here are some of my post-game findings:

1. The amount of things I miss in calculation is astounding
Well not really, I was actually doing "Ok" moves in this game. You know, not really making gross oversights or stuff like that. But ok-moves is really not enough to win games. If I want to win against strong opposition, I must play way better than just making "Ok" moves.

2. Fear is the enemy.
When I was looking at candidate moves, some of them I didnt even consider because at firstglance it looked really dangerous. But analysis reveals that it really wasnt. I think, just because a move appears to be bad, I should not immediately drop it from consideration. Although proving that it is indeed a strong move is hard, but crafty says some of those moves I was afraid of was perfectly ok. In fact, in a critical moment during the game, a move I didnt take because I considered it a blunder turned out to be crafty's first choice.

A very good calculation and search routine is really important here. A move maybe dangerous only in the first 2 moves, but a "refutation" for the refutation maybe in the 3rd-4th move maybe present. But searching for a "point" of a move 3-4 moves ahead is really hard. Really2x need to train this one.

3. G30/15 is too short
Playing a game against sub1800 players, rarely do I go below 10-minutes. Usually the game is decided beforehand. But against very strong competition, making a move is like navigating a tactical landmine. You really need to consider everything as much as possible. In this game, we were both down below 5 minutes. Not enough time for me to assess the situation. Not surprisingly, My biggest blunder was made here. Maybe I would seek using longer time controls next time.

Even though he is 300 points above, the loss still bothers me. I gave it my all, and still I lost. The feeling isnt very good. Im realy tired of losing, but -

Arent you tired yet?

About my constant rants about chess? About my futile attempts at chess improvement? I dont mean to whine all the time. But being a patzer really sucks. The circles have helped me a lot you know, but it has not taken me to the promised land.

Lately, I had not been doing any serious chess training. Sure I do a lot of chess related stuff. I do CTS everyday. Play thru masters games. Most of all, I play, play, play at FICS. But I had not made an attempt to construct a scheduled focused chess improvement plan. I blogged about a plan awhile back, but I cant bring myself to follow it, or any other plan for that matter. I'm just in a funk really. Because it feels like I'm banging my head on wall. Trying to improve, and trying to improve, and trying to improve - but somehow, I feel I'm still here right where I started.

Right now, I'm even considering taking lessons from a chess coach. But $20 is a lot to pay for just one hour. Though if I get desperate enough...

Shessh. Here I go again mumbling about my inabilities. Yeah, well...
posted by Nezha at 2:21 AM | Permalink |


  • At 6:48 AM, Blogger CelticDeath

    The important thing to keep in mind, Nezha, is that the down cycles (like the up cycles) pass. You will come out of your rut. What you need to do is detach yourself from the situation. Calmly assess where you need to improve and try to understand where you are coming short (and it seems you are trying this). But, even more important than that is to not let it bother you. Work through it. It takes time for new knowledge to incorporate itself in our psyches. I'm of the opinion that we are our own worst enemies with regard to the limits we impose upon ourselves with how far we can improve.