Monday, April 11, 2005
What chess needs II
It does not take a rocket scientist to figure how to popularize chess. Its already been done before by all the major sports. All we need to do is rip those ideas, and implement it

Take for instance wrestling. When I was young, I was fascinated with wrestling. And although Hulk hogan was not my favorite wrestler (it was Tito Santana), I could appreciate how he would put on a show (Hoooo!). But I think wrestling became popular, not because of the actual wrestling itself but because the players are true "characters". They're straight out of a comic book.

So if I was the evil FIDE president, I'd take shirov and make him famous. How!? Well here is a guy with the name and the game to have serious marketing potential. All he really needs is some packaging adjustment. If we could only get him to gel back his hair, Put on some dark sunglasses, and wear tight fitting leather pants, he could become the chess equivalent of michael jordan. I mean, we could even hire a slicky looking guy as his manager. You know, someone who messes with the opponents while the arbiter is not looking. After every win, he should stand up the board, point his fingers to the sky, then to the audience, then his heart. All the while shouting "I'm on top of the world! I'm on top of the world!". Imagine the alarmed faces of his future opponents then (And specially Ilyumzhinov). Then we'll find a way to bring shirov and kasparov to play together. The match could be billed as
"The Death Match: Only one will survive".
It would be held at madison square garden, and - get this, inside a steel-cage. Teenagers just love this stuff. They'll be begging for more once they see how exciting chess could be. We can ask $3 for pay-per-view, and I bet we'd make a killing then. Shirov would have had shoe contracts by now. Nike would have put out the "Air Shirov: Is the fire in you?" and we would both have earned oodles of money.

Of course there are players whom this will never work. For example, The Undertaker is one of the most successfull wrestler that WWF (or is it WWE now?) have had. But I dont think, borrowing the nickname The Undertaker, and sticking it into kramnik works. I mean Vlady "The Undertaker" Kramnik does not evoke images of death and destruction now does it. Its almost means the same thing as kramnik "The peaceful". But - this is just me, I'm sure there are people out there who thinks that kramnik is a big piece of hunkachunkaloove!!!!
posted by Nezha at 8:28 PM | Permalink |


  • At 6:28 PM, Blogger Jim

    You're kidding, right? You want to take a bunch of nerdy pencil-necked guys and turn them into Pop Stars?

    Forget the guys. Start a "Hot Babes of Chess" league, featuring female chess players who have to take off a piece of clothing everytime they lose a piece. The more powerful the piece, the more clothes they have to take off. The loser has to take off all her clothes.

    Then, you could start a reality chess program, featuring the trials of de la Mazan training, only it would be a houseful of beautiful women. The plot lines you could draw from that are endless. . .

  • At 1:47 AM, Blogger Temposchlucker

    I think you have more talent to become a rocket scientist:)